9/30/1993 (6th grade, unchanged in punctuation and spelling, minus the spellings "tips")
My ideal life would be if everybody had peace but I would love to live in an manshin (mansion) and have a swimming pool shing (shining) silvery in the night and be able to have balls and see the beutiful dresses swirl around and when they are don (done) all the girls would walk out to see me and my dress would sway in the wind. and I would dress in fine silks and eat fine dinners and desserts and when the day would end I would go to my hugh (huge) room and lay on my bed all covered with silked sheets then I would get up walk to my window and the breeze would blow in my face and my hair would sway and the white soft kertins (curtains) would fly around me in the wind I would walk back to my bed lay on my goose feather pillows and fall asleep.
This post is actually fairly sad (even though I laughed like crazy because I was SUCH a weird-o) since I really did feel this way. This journal entry smacks of a girl who read a bit too much and socialized a great deal too little. The entries get better and better (meaning stranger and more dramatic) in this journal and I'll add them here and there, I just can't believe I wrote this comment to be graded. My teacher probably worried, or read them to her spouse for a laugh... Notice, I add in the comment about peace in order to cover my bases so I don't seem selfish, but within the same sentence I get to what I really want; to be popular, pretty and surrounded by mysterious wind and silk? (= Poor kid, the braces, fatness (which I address more often as the journal progresses) and general oddness sure didn't help. And why in the heck am I eating and standing alone while the other girls are dancing? I guess some things will remain a mystery.
7 comments :
Oh, so sad and so weird. :) I still have the note you wrote me when I had all those popular kids over for a study group(the only way they would come to my house!). It was my birthday and I had to read it ten times to figure out you had written.
I have journal entries from years past that are just as weird, but for different reasons. I imagined some day I would be a fashion designer for skinny people. Like that was original. Makes me laugh now, that I thought I was the only skinny person in the world, and that it was a bad thing.
And all my journal entries were about having a million babies. "And I will hug them all day long..."
Very telling. Had no idea you wanted to wear silk in the wind. But, fitting. Good to know. I did know you wanted ducks and a willow tree.
I think looking back on journals can be very introspective. To be honest I wish I could find mine from middle school and high school. I know it has to be somewhere. Probably hidden in my parents garage somewhere. But, I am sure I would find some similar entries myself. I have decided being weird is good though. . . I was an odd one growing up (still am too in my own opinion) but I like who I am and hope that I never change! I love you Holly. Truly you are one of my favorite!!
Holly. I honestly related with that journal (why weren't we friends back then??) because I think I have read as many fairy tales as you have... and well, they start to warp your senses sometimes!! I laughed out loud the whole journal and pictured my own romantic 11 year old heart wanting similiar things.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad--reread Anne of Green Gables and you will find she was just as funny an 11 year old!
of course you wanted silk + wind, because then it would be all flowy. What 6th grade girl didn't want beautiful flowiness in her life?
it's so fun to go back and read journals...especially though the 'dating' years!
Hahaha.. this is the most awesome thing I have ever seen! Im thinking you took a peek at one of those romance novels or something... it totally reminds me of these books I used to read back about the same time called "Sweet Valley Sagas" from those Sweet Valley High people... perhaps I had lent this book to you....? Love it!
Oh, Holly!! I knew there was a reason I connected with you so quickly!! I had these SAME fantasies!!
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