Rolo-ver

(Side Note: I actually started writing this a few days before Valentine's Day, but I was forced into migrant working conditions which is a blog just waiting to be written to... Anyhow, it's a bit late, but this is my absolute FAVORITE Valentine's Day memory)

One of the simple joys of childhood was the one day a year that you could put 30 tiny cards into 30 tiny envelopes with a candy heart or two. At the store you would pick out the cards that represented you. Lisa Frank for the girls who wore make-up at 8, My Little Pony for the girls who would continue to play with dolls until they were 15 (or was that just me?), Barbie for the future fashion designers, stylists or gay boys, He-man for the tough guys, G. I. Joes for the chronic fighters and Tranformers for the future .com generation. But what a thrill it was when inside your construction paper mail box you found 30 notes from kids in your class, kids who didn't particularly like you/know you/sit by you during lunch but still spent the time to scrawl your name on a card that said something brilliantly akin to "You're the cutest," or some such fib. But imagine even more interesting to find your treat in the middle of the night and card in the morning in that order, as I did back in 1989...

It was the eve of Valentine's Day and Julie had decided to be a good older sister and give me a present to find when I awoke in the morning. Quietly she had laid a Valentine's card (probably a My Little Pony or Strawberry Shortcake) next to my pillow along with an unwrapped Rolo, you know, one of those delicious caramel chocolate sweets. During the night and being the fitful sleeper I am, I shook the bed until the Rolo made its way down under my covers and to the lowest heaviest area right around my bumm. Efficiently I rolled over it until it resembled a smooth flat disc that covered a sizable area (for a Rolo) right in the center of my bed. And there it rested until about 2 am when I awoke and somehow discovered that something was amiss under the sheets.

I'm not sure what alerted me to my new bed fellow but I quickly noticed that I was not alone. I guess if a princess could feel a pea under 7 or 8 mattresses than why shouldn't I feel a steamrollered rolo under a thin flannel nightgown? Anyhow, in the dark it resembled something else. Something very sinister that a 7 year old should have control over.

Shoot, I thought to myself, I really am too old for this. But the thought of going back to bed in that, or sleeping on the floor was not something I wanted to do, so instead I woke up my mom.

"Mom." I said in confusion, " I think I poopied in my bed. Except that it's only on the outside of my p.j.'s."
"It's on the outside of your p.j.'s?" She asked in a sleepy voice.
"Yes, I don't know how it happened..." I answered
By this point I'm sure the wheels were turning in her head. How in the world could a kid pooh outside her pajamas? It just didn't make sense. Even the allure of a warm bed couldn't stave her curiosity and a moment later she was following me to Julie (who was sleeping soundly) and my room.

In the dark she stood there bracing herself for what she knew she had to do. Slowly she poked it with the tiniest tip of her finger. "It doesn't feel like pooh." She said perplexed.
Even in the dark I could see her confusion. Then leaning ever so carefully over, she lowered her head and took a quick sniff.
"It doesn't even smell like pooh." she said, her head cocking to the side. "I don't know. Why don't you come sleep in my room for the rest of the night?"

Within a few minutes we had made a bed of blankets in her floor and while I stared at boxes of wrapping paper and other ominous objects to a 7 year old under a dark bed- I mused. What could possibly be that dark orb on my sheet? How did I manage to pull a stunt like that? Should I be proud of my unique capabilities or worried it would happen again, in public, where people would point their fingers and rank me with the bearded lady or the half-man-half-woman guy? It was all very baffling and I worried until morning.

However, when I awoke I discovered something else. Upon entering my room and staring into my covers I realized that my company had in fact been of the chocolate constitution, with tones of caramel. Where in the world did that come from I wondered...

Minutes later Julie came in and asked, "Did you find your card and treat?"
"What card and treat?" I asked her confused.
"I left you are card and a rolo." She answered.

Thankfully I found the card and realized that my special powers were not so special. I am happy to say I haven't had an accident sense.