Hey everyone! I'm so excited to announce that I made it onto "America's Next Top Model." Amazing right?! There was one catch, the show had to be cancelled due to the fact that it was being held in my back yard and Tyra was attacked by a black panther (possible subconcious political statement?). Allow me to explain.
A few nights ago I found myself as a lead contestant for that show that offers it's watchers the two for one deal of making you feel smug at your ability to eat and fat at the same time. Yes, I had made it onto "America's Next Top Model." However, things quickly became strange. One, why would anyone line up a bunch of gorgeous girls in my Huntington Beach backyard? There is definitly not enough room for all that big hair and camera crew. Two, why was a black panther hanging around on my wall with it's yellow eyes focused on Tyra? And three, how the heck did I in all my squishy splendidness get into THAT crowd?
I don't know about everyone else, but I have the ability to realize I'm dreaming in many of my dreams and usually I will just sit back and see what my mind comes up with. It's kind of like watching movies in my sleep. However, you can only imagine my disappontment when dream Holly turns with a confused look to the unnaturally perk girl next to her and says, "Um.. I don't think I belong here..." (Slam on the dream breaks)
Pardon me, but aren't you supposed to be able to be extra cool, pretty or whatever in your dreams? Did my subconsious think so low of me that it couldn't even fathom moving my cellulite up to its natural position of thighs, instead of down my legs too? Honestly, a little thicker hair and flatter stomach would have been nice. So after a few concious slaps to my unconcious I have decided that I really will get into "America's Next Top Model" shape, well, maybe "Next, Next Top Model."
I'm not hoping for perfection, but it is a smack when even your inner thoughts remind you that you're in this predicament because not only have you had your own piece of cake and eatten it too, but you've eatten everyone elses as well.
So here's what I'm going to do: today is day one of Weight Watchers for me, I figure this will go slowly, but I want to wear my favorite jeans again. So This time for real I will post my progress. "America's Next, Next (next) Top Model" here I come.
5 comments :
That's a great picture. Good luck on the weight watchers thingee. Just want you to know though,I love you however you are.
I just love you Holly. You really are a great writer! I love reading your blog!!Go you on starting weight watchers at the beginning of the holiday season. I would to say I think you are gorgious. Have a fun Christmas season.
Holly, you look fantastic, my dear. I should join you however, seeing as I just ate my fifth popcycle tonight (I bought them instead of ice cream, thinking I would only eat proper portions--which I can't seem to do with a carton of icecream!) I think i'll start after Christmas, however...
Why a black panther? Because it's great TV, that's why! Normally I wouldn't be caught dead watching America's Top Model, but if it offered me the real chance of watching Tyra being eaten by a large black cat (or better yet, a militant activist from the 60's) I'd have to add it to my Tivo.
Anyway, I have to say that we dream alike. And I'm not talking about the hordes of beautiful women in our backyard in HB. For me that was reality. I'm talking about the fact that half the time I know I'm dreaming well before I wake up. It must be in the gene pool. I'm thinking someone didn't add enough chlorine.
Holly, you are my TOP top model!! If only the show was in your backyard... I'd love to see Miss J try to fit his enormous fro through your back door.
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