Witching Hour

So Jarom and I have a funny relationship. He likes to shock me with random comments and I like to act shocked and make him eat his words. Usually the funniest conversations are when Jarom makes a comment about my appearance that I pretend to take in an offensive way. In these mock serious discussions he goes round the comment trying to justify what he has said, while I act offended and try to box him into a corner. By the end both of us are laughing and Jarom has humorously decided that I'm a mean wife because he was only trying to give me a compliment. (=

Recently there was one conversation that really got me laughing. In fact it was so excellent that I wrote it down word for word in my planner as he was talking and threatened Jarom with a blog. Horrified, he told me I wasn't allowed to write it because people would think he was mean, but I interpreted his laugher as permission to go ahead...

A few fridays back I was sporting a lovely constellation of acne on my face. One on my forehead, a small cluster on my cheek and a rather large one on the side of my chin. As much as I love revisiting my youth I'd much rather relive it by going to the beach and getting a Thrifty's ice cream cone, but apparently acne is a little easier to fit on the schedule.

Anyhow, after slapping on some makeup (with a useless attempt at camouflaging my visitors), pulling my wet from swimming hair into a ponytail and putting on my least rumpled clothing I was semi-decent enough for our impromptu date we'd decided to go on that night. We chose to go to a hole in the wall place for dinner and a movie and I figured that since most of the date would be in the dark he would forgive my somewhat unkept appearance. One of my favorite things about Jarom is he praises me when I look pretty and when I know I don't. He thinks I'm pretty all the time, bless him. But that night he had a funny way of telling it.

"So," Jarom said in a velvety voice a mischievous smile playing across his lips, knowing he was going to say something that would set me off and looking forward to the forthcoming banter, "That's a pretty good pimple you've got going on your chin. If you painted your face green you could do pretty well."

"What??" I asked him feigning offense, "You think I look like a witch? That's soo mean!"

"That's not mean," Jarom retorted, "Very beautiful women can play witches really well."

"Which beautiful women?" I asked tartly, "Like the wicked witch of the west? Or the old witch in snow white? Those beautiful women?"

"No," Jarom said back tracking. "Like Nicole Kidman, or Michelle Phifer. They played witches really well. I'm saying YOU could be a pretty witch..."

"Well, thank you... I think. But how do I possibly look like a witch?" I challenged him, laughing at the references to the only two possible pretty witches in silver screen history (and before anyone argues Glenda was pretty I say that she was- until I reached the age of ten and realized that under the sparkly dress and ten pounds of makeup she was not such a distant cousin in the looks department of the scary witch. In fact, the only pretty people in that whole movie are dorothy and possibly the cowardly lion after he gets the bows in his hair).

"Well," Jarom said gearing up with his explanation, "You have the right facial structure."

"How's that?" I question him.

"Well, you have a long narrow face and large eyes." He said while I chuckle at his answer. "Not to mention, you DO have a pointy nose and chin." he throws in matter of factly.

Fast forward two weeks. In an effort to maintain my failing looks I decide to give myself a mud mask, paint my toes and do a little plucking to my eyebrows. I wash my makeup off, observing how dull my skin and eyes look. I need a tan, or something on my face but I don't have the time to lay out, or the desire to develop the wrinkles and cancer all the dermatologists on "10 Years Younger" are talking about. As I slather the green mud all over my face and prepare to paint my toes I can't help but notice how pink my lips look, and how green my eyes are. What's the change, I wonder?

Suddenly it dawns on me, it's the green! Jarom was totally right, I could work it as a witch. So that's why I've posting for you a picture of me a la witch, or sea sick. You're choice. Just know, green is coming people, since we all know tans are unhealthy maybe it's time to switch to a new color. Just a thought...