Found: two earplugs

Have you ever lost something? I know it's pretty common to lose things like glasses, keys, earplugs, but sometimes we are more concerned about finding where the object is than the actual object. For example: Last week I misplaced a pair of earplugs. Although I sleep better when I can't hear a thing, it wasn't the lack of earplugs that unnerved me, it was where they could have gone. Usually I wake up with one still dangling in my ear and the other smashed into a perfectly flat disk under my butt, but that morning they were no where to be found. After searching all over the bed and on the ground I began to wonder if I had possibly eatten them in my sleep. Allow me to explain (this is not so impossible as it may seem, given my history).

A few months ago during midterms, I was so sleep deprived and so stressed that my dreams took on a whole dimension of their own. One night I dreamed that I was being sucked into a puddle on the sidewalk and woke up gasping because I had been holding my breath. Other nights I fitfully dreamed of fights with people, or being attacked. Usually after I awoke I was fine and could go back to sleep- except for one dream.

That night Jarom had popped some popcorn and brought it into our room to watch some tv and veg before turning in. It was late and I was tired, so I opted for my earplugs and some sleep instead of staying up. I'm sure it was the smell of the popcorn that began my dream because suddenly I was eating a handful of chewy buttery popcorn. It tasted great until it dawned on me that popcorn is not supposed to be chewy, a realization that shook me out of my dream.

It was dark in the room and I had something in my mouth. Something that was squeeky, strange tasting and not supposed to be there. Quickly I spit it out and found a bright orange, well-chewed earplug. It was this moment that my tongue rolled into the back of my head and I started to gag. Earwax and the texture of earplugs are not something that you want to wake up to.

So when the earplugs went missing I began to fret that possibly I had eatten them for real. I am happy to say that I found them two days later- under the bed and not in the bathroom. I am also currently working on some kind of lock in device for earplugs that beeps when moistened and remains in your ear so that no one else will experience that unpleasant experience.