Embarrassing moment # 2 (just be yourself)

My first year at BYU I took a humanities 101 class. My teacher was a particularly young and bright-eyed woman who had the pre-notion that our class should know a little about each other before we began our studies. All around me I could hear the sounds of desperate girls unscrewing their lip gloss so they could make a good impression on the one cute guy in the class. Others were mentally rehearsing how they would impress each other with tales of recent travels or a particularly difficult major.

As the teacher went down the list of students each would doubtlessly forget what they had intended to say and would end up saying something brilliantly akin to "I like kittens and chocolate and have a pet turtle" in a a squeaky, shaky voice. I decided that would NOT be me. In my head I pictured a confident girl who would stroll down the stairs making eye contact with the class, while wowing them with my daring wit and grace and laughing in a harty yet non-affected laugh. (now thinking about it I must have imagined myself as a white female version of Carlton Banks from the Fresh Prince of Belair.)

"Holly Tanner" my teacher said and instantly my heart started racing. Ok, I thought, just get through the desks that could trip you up and you're golden. Somehow I made it through the chairs, around the smattering of backpacks and the feet, and to the aisle that went down the stairs to the front of the class. I was doing pretty good at making eye contact and had even managed to control the beating of my heart. In fact, I was doing so well that I forgot to take my eyes off the 45 pairs that were watching me and missed the mini half-step that would set me up for my nick-name hereafter as holly fally.

As soon as my foot didn't make contact with the ground I knew I was in trouble. Now I must confess, it is an interesting sensation, this falling, but I didn't think about that until later. At the moment I was only considering my navigational options. In front of me there was a piano which provided a very dramatic and slighly operetic option to my inevitable fall, to the side I could fall silently and hopefully melt away as soon as my head soared from view behind the desks, and that was pretty much it. There were no other options, and there was nothing I could blame; no banana, no crack, there wasn't even a kazoo to wheeze an appropriate sound effect, in fact the only sound that rushed around the room was the gasp of 44 students and one very alarmed teacher.

And then there was me- laughing until I could barely breath. Because in that moment I realized I had missed the piano by inches, soared effortlessly and (though not initially) gracefully to the ground and had landed squarely on my hands and knees. I stayed there for a moment, my stomach hurting from the giggles that were erupting from me, until I could finally move. By this time the class had regained their senses and were laughing right along with me. Balancing on my sore knees I bowed two sweeping bows to the class and began to stand.

And then it came to me. I had the perfect introduction. "Hello, my name is Holly Tanner. If you missed that don't worry, it will probably happen again because I am one of the most clumbsy people I know... I like kittens and chocolate and I have a pet turtle..."